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Customer: Well, I'm not very technical, but I think
I'm ready to install it now. What do I do first?

Tech Support: The first step is to open your HEART.
Have you located your HEART, ma'am?

Customer: Yes, I have, but there are several other
programs running right now. Is it okay to install
while they are running?

Tech Support: What programs are running, ma'am?

Customer: Let's see... I have PAST-HURT.EXE,

Tech Support: No problem. LOVE will gradually erase
PAST-HURT.EXE from your current operating system. It
may remain in your permanent memory, but it will no
longer disrupt other programs. LOVE will eventually
overwrite LOW-ESTEEM.EXE with a module of its own
called HIGH-ESTEEM.EXE. However, you have to
completely turn off GRUDGE.EXE and RESENTMENT.COM.
Those programs prevent LOVE from being properly
installed. Can you turn those off, ma'am?

Customer: I don't know how to turn them off. Can you
tell me how?

Tech Support: My pleasure. Go to your Start menu and
invoke FORGIVENESS.EXE. Do this as many times as
necessary until it's erased the programs you don't

Customer: Okay, now LOVE has started installing itself
automatically. Is that normal?

Tech Support: Yes. You should receive a message that
says it will reinstall for the life of your HEART. Do
you see that message?

Customer: Yes, I do. Is it completely installed?

Tech Support: Yes, but remember that you have only the
base program. You need to begin connecting to other
HEARTs in order to get the upgrades.

Customer: Oops. I have an error message already. What
should I do?

Tech Support: What does the message say?

Customer: It says "ERROR 412-PROGRAM NOT RUN ON
INTERNAL COMPONENTS." What does that mean?

Tech Support: Don't worry, ma'am, that's a common
problem. It means that the LOVE program is set up to
run on external HEARTs but has not yet been run on
your HEART. It is one of those complicated programming
things, but in non-technical terms it means you have
to "LOVE" your own machine before it can "LOVE"

Customer: So what should I do?

Tech Support: Can you pull down the directory called

Customer: Yes, I have it.

Tech Support: Excellent. You're getting good at this.
Now, click on the following files and then copy them
to the "MYHEART" directory: FORGIVE-SELF.DOC,
The system will overwrite any conflicting files and
begin patching any faulty programming. Also, you need
to delete SELF-CRITIC.EXE from all directories, and
then empty your recycle bin afterwards to make sure it
is completely gone and never comes back.

Customer: Got it. Hey! My HEART is filling up with new
files. SMILE.MPG is playing on my monitor right now
and it shows that PEACE.EXE, and CONTENTMENT.COM are
copying themselves all over my HEART. Is this normal?

Tech Support: Sometimes. For others it takes a while,
but eventually everything gets downloaded at the
proper time. So, LOVE is installed and running. You
should be able to handle it from here. Ah, one more

Customer: Yes?

Tech Support: LOVE is freeware. Be sure to give it and
its various modules to everybody you meet. They will
in turn share it with other people and they will
return some similarly cool module back to you.

Customer: I will! Thanks for your help!

Remember, LOVE is Freeware!

take care live long!